Marry a millionaire manual – Kenyan edition

Are you looking to fall for someone tall, dark — but most importantly very wealthy? We at samwagik wish to explains what it takes to snag your very own Richie Rich.

Work hard, take risks, maybe build your own business. That’s the traditional route to financial success. Of course, there’s another highly traditional path to acquiring wealth that isn’t talked about quite as much these days: Marry money. True, it’s not politically correct to go hunting for a marital meal ticket (or for that matter, to write about it). But just for a moment imagine the life that could be yours if you did.

Forget the fabulous baubles, designer clothing, cutting-edge electronics and palatial mansions that your golden goose – uh, spouse – might heap upon you. Consider the more pragmatic bonuses of the good life. No more scrimping and scraping to make ends meet. No more working until you drop to ensure a comfortable retirement, and no more worries about where your children will get into college (or how to pay for it).

In these days and age where tabloids like Ghafla and Daily Post have for long glorified ass over brains, by blabbing socialites news like Vera Sidika, Corazon Kwamboka, Huddah Monroe, bluh bluh bluh day in day out, we thought and sympathize with the forgotten girls who can’t get the socialites type ragged fat ass money maker which can rake them millions (with exception of Huddah-nudity pays her bills) or get a rich pastor somewhere in Enugu, Nigeria and alas, “Eureka!” We’ve got plan B tips for you. On this millionaire’s hunters manual you will learn how to save 20,000 yuan ($3,080) that the Chinese Cinderellas have to cough out in additional to 30 hours of training at the Beijing Moral Education Center to be taught how to marry a billionaire or millionaires. You also won’t have to attend the Russia’s gold digger academy or pay in excess of a few grands for online training to learn how to land your money man. You can thank me later!

As a matter of scientific inquiry, Samwagik decided to find out. To that end we analyzed the mating habits of 50 of the mega-monied to learn how they met their spouses.We scoured the how-to-marry-rich literature and talked to society watchers, upscale matchmakers and wealth experts. And we pored over divorce news to see how spouse No. 1 was supplanted by spouse No. 2 (or 3).

Unfortunately, those who had already made it to Fat City refused to say how they got there. Nonetheless, our findings were encouraging. Marrying a millionaire is not beyond your grasp, as long as you’re willing to work hard toward your goal. (Yes, hard work – albeit of a different kind – is still a requisite for achieving wealth.)

You will first need to identify the millionaires in your area (or their relatives) and learn their marital status. Then you’ll have to study their businesses, hangouts, pets, favorite philanthropies, artists, music and vacation spots. (Google is a gold digger’s best friend.) Also required: an investment in the type of home, clothing, grooming and charity events that will help you mix among the high and mighty hoity-toity.

One cautionary note: Before you start making repeated visits to your target’s golf club or home, remember that stalking is a crime

Learn to live with less
First, some bad news. UK-based New World Wealth , which has made a cottage industry of compiling lists of wealthy folks, declared this year that there are a paltry 8,400 millionaires in Kenya. Worse, most of them are currently married (though that does not necessarily discourage the most determined gold diggers).

The picture gets even grimmer for men. A scant few women appear on the list of Kenya’s millionaires. Average age: 63.

Single women wear wedding dresses during a matching-making ball with Chinese male billionaires in Beijing

Lower your sights.
Fortunately, the ranks of those who are filthy rich, if not quite in the millionaire stratosphere, are increasing daily.Kenya has a growing number of ultrahigh net worth individuals (UHNWIs).Many of them – up-and-coming hedge fund managers, telecom barons and Internet tycoons – may have amassed only a hundred million or so but could easily hit the Big B in a few years.

For male fortune hunters, there are widows and armies of ex-wives with humongous divorce settlements. (Yes, for all of the strides women have made in the workplace, most super rich gals do acquire their wealth through their relationships with men – and stereotypically, many of their husbands dump them when they reach a certain age.)

Take Tiger Woods’ ex Elin Nordegren’s who received around $100million in her divorce settlement from husband of five years and former golf No.1 Woods.

Get down to business – his though
Next step: Land the right job – one that allows you to circulate among the wealthy, of course. Just over half of the millionaires in our study met their spouses at work.

Examples: Melinda Gates was a Microsoft manager when she met Bill at a company press event.

Get an M.B.A. ASAP.
To worm your way into a millionaire’s business, and eventually his heart, you need the right career. An M.B.A. will give you the most flexibility. Since people think that it qualifies you to do just about anything, you can get hired just about anywhere.
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Focus on industries with the most millionaires: finance, investments, service, media and entertainment, real estate and oil and gas.

Show off your brain
Ultrarich men once gravitated toward women with the showiest plumage – or plastic surgery. That has changed. These days, the more prestigious your credentials and the brainier you are, the better.Consider Anne Wojcicki, who only this May sealed the deal with Sergey Brin, Google’s co-founder ($14.1 billion). She graduated with a B.S. in biology from Yale, conducted molecular biology research at the National Institutes of Health and the Weizmann Institute, and recently founded 23andMe, a genetic-research company. She met Brin through her sister Susan, a Google marketing exec with – see, we told you! – an M.B.A. from UCLA.

Women too seem to favor the brainy over the muscle-bound. Ebay’s Meg Whitman ($1.2 billion), for example, is married to a neurosurgeon.

Move close to where they live.
You need to move into a rich environment.If you want to be rich, you must live where the rich live, even if it’s in an attic.No matter what your budget, you can find a hidey-hole within 16 blocks of the big money.

By hanging out in a ritzy neighborhood, you’ll get comfortable with wealthy people and attuned to what they like. And you’ll greatly increase your chances of running into a millionaire.

Get thee to a gallery.
Millionaires’ expansive estates, urban pieds-à-terre and quaint 30,000-square-foot country homes confront them with the task of covering vast stretches of empty walls and filling echoing foyers with something. That means they are constantly on the prowl for paintings, sculptures and other objets d’art that will do the job. So prowl where they prowl.

For starters, cultivate a taste for museums and become a member, not a visitor.If you’re willing to go without dinner for a few months, invest in a membership in the Artist’s Circle, which provides much greater mingling opportunities, including evening receptions, private viewings for major exhibitions and priority invitations to special events such as the biennial art auction.

Become a status faker
You’ll never be able to close the deal, however, unless you look and act the part of a suitable spouse to serious money.Like they say, fake it til you make it.

Be a class act.
To attract the attention of the wealthy guys and gals who pique your interest, you have to dress appropriately. Pearls are “too preppy” Wear small diamond earrings.

Be into what he’s into.
Once you zero in on a prospect, you’ll have to look as if you’re interested in what he or she likes. So spend some time boning up on thorough bred horses, JAR jewelry, Modigliani and your millionaire’s business.

Should you play hard to get or hop into the sack on the first date? . Our advise is: If you do make it to the altar, hire a smart lawyer to negotiate the best terms on your prenup. Afterwards no matter how difficult things get, hang in there. The longer you stay, the more the court will award you if the marriage fails. There’s no reason, after all, that your divorce shouldn’t be every bit as lucrative as your marriage.

Don’t forget the kids
The scions of Millionaires are also numerous. While marrying less pecunious offspring may look like you’re just making do, it’s not a bad deal (and think about the scads they’ll inherit).

Don’t get me wrong, not all Kenyan ladies are goldiggers. However socialites have grown a massive list of followers who act and do like them to look trendy.If you already feeling hurt by this post, I offer no apologies, chances are, you’re already one ACCEPT IT AND MOVE ON!